Today's reflection is a little different. Imagine that Judas left a note behind which tried to explain what he was doing and why. What might it say? We can't know, of course, but there are some hints that might give us some clues.
Meditation for
Wednesday of Holy Week – Judas Iscariot
John 13:21-30
21 After saying this Jesus
was troubled in spirit, and declared, ‘Very truly, I tell you, one of you will
betray me.’ 22The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of
whom he was speaking. 23One of his disciples—the one whom Jesus
loved—was reclining next to him; 24Simon Peter therefore
motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. 25So
while reclining next to Jesus, he asked him, ‘Lord, who is it?’ 26Jesus
answered, ‘It is the one to whom I give this piece of bread when I have dipped
it in the dish.’ So when he had dipped the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas
son of Simon Iscariot.27After he received the piece of bread, Satan
entered into him. Jesus said to him, ‘Do quickly what you are going to
do.’ 28Now no one at the table knew why he said this to
him. 29Some thought that, because Judas had the common purse,
Jesus was telling him, ‘Buy what we need for the festival’; or, that he should
give something to the poor. 30So, after receiving the piece of
bread, he immediately went out. And it was night.
They say history is written by
the winners. The gift of hindsight gives everyone perfect judgment. So I wonder
what they will make of me? Will it be that I was cold, calculating and evil? Will
I be seen as unstable, irrational and unpredictable? Misguided, foolish and
reckless? Time will tell and I won’t be there to see it.
You know, the biggest surprise
was that he asked me to follow him. Simon the Zealot and I both had a bit of a
reputation. Simon was very much one of the Zealots. I don’t know if he ever
went out on a raid, but they actually do fighting with the Romans. Ambushes, assassinations,
and that sort of thing. Terrorists the Romans call them. We call them freedom
fighters. I guess it all depends from which side you’re looking at it. And I
was known to have some sympathy with that – tired of this Roman occupation.
Anyway he just said ‘follow me’,
and we did. We were fed up with the Romans ruling it over us, and we were sickened
by the Jewish authorities and their two-faced attitude. Half the time they’re
muttering and complaining about the Romans, until they’re handing out jobs,
titles and cash and then it all goes silent. Funny that.
But Jesus wasn’t in the pocket
of the Romans and he said some hard-hitting things about the scribes and
Pharisees. He had integrity, and seemed a bit dangerous, and I liked that.
He wasn’t afraid of confronting
the authorities; it was almost as if he looked for the opportunity. But he
preached love and peace, and truthfulness. He talked about God as his father
and told stories that showed up hypocrisy and stood up for the poor and the
excluded. Sometimes he went further than I would with all that.
But I was getting frustrated.
When would the revolution start? We had 5,000 men in a field, literally eating
out of his hand – that’s an army. The Sermon on the Mount – they were ready to
go. But no, there was no call to take what is rightfully ours.
It was when he entered Jerusalem
that I cracked. Riding in was fine. The donkey was a nice touch – a conquering
king coming in peace. And he turned over the tables. That’s more like it. Now,
strike, I thought. Then he says render what is Caesar’s, render to God what is
God’s. Looked like compromise to me.
I decided to force his hand. So
I went to the authorities, took their stinking money and arranged to bring them
to him at the crucial moment. I thought then he would finally get it and yell
fight. But at the meal, he knew. He could see right through me, although the
others hadn’t a clue. He shared bread with me – we dipped it in the same bowl,
and he just told me to do what I had to do.
In the end I couldn’t take it,
so I left early, brought the guards to him when he was praying, and they
arrested him. “Put down your sword” he said to Peter. No bloodshed even then.
So here I am, with it all
falling apart around me. I just wanted to make something happen, but not this.
I threw the silver back at them, but it didn’t ease my conscience. Not that the
other cowards are any better – Peter even lied about not knowing Jesus, at
least I didn’t.
They say he’ll be crucified tomorrow. I don’t want to live to see that – I’ve made arrangements. What still rings in my ears is the last thing he said to me; the last thing he called me. Of all the words he could have used, only this one could pierce my heart.
He
said “friend”.
1 comment:
Such a brilliant insight - thank you Mike. I'm a bit late listening but it was so worth it!
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