 | |
| Don at a Holy Trinity, Cambridge Church picnic around 1986/7 |
The first time I heard of Don was at our church youth group. The Sunday night meetings always ended with a time of open prayer, and some of the group members earnestly prayed for him for a few weeks. It turned out that he had had pancreatitis and major surgery. In 1978 I met him for the first time, when I went as a teenager on of the CYFA holidays [aka houseparties or ventures] that he ran. Based in a boarding school in Clevedon, hired during the holiday, it was a lot of fun, games, getting to know people, as well as talks and worship. I liked it so much I kept going - at different venues during summers and new year reunions. Eventually I ended up on the leadership team, and worked for Don from 1985-7, when he was at Holy Trinity, Cambridge. Part of my job was promoting ventures and organising them.
Looking back, Don was a fascinating character. He was full of seeming contradictions, yet when you got to know him, it all made a kind of sense. He could be quite a control freak, yet was willing to trust relative novices with big responsibilities. He could be dogmatic, yet had a team who represented a broad range of views and always warned against simplistic responses to complex questions. He wasn't beyond a sexist comment, yet became an early evangelical champion for women's ministry in the church, when it wasn't commonplace to do so. He was very open to the charismatic movement, yet never one for hype or pushing people to expect or have experiences of a particular kind. He could be quite intimidating, and some people were scared of him, yet he shared his vulnerabilities and had an openness unusual in strong leaders. It created a deep sense of loyalty, and the venture team have always felt like an extended family for many of us.
Don had more than his fair share of suffering - as well as the pancreatitis, I mentioned earlier, he lost a son, Thomas, at only a few weeks old. It happened during a venture holiday, and none of us who were there could forget it. Don and Zoe even came and spoke to help us understand what was going on. Later Don developed Parkinson's disease, which for a number of years didn't seem to diminish his enthusiasm for ministry. After he offered, I invited him to speak at the church where I was based in Coventry in the mid 90s for a special Harvest weekend. He also acted as a mentor for me for the time I was there, asking good questions and offering wise advice.
Latterly we were less in touch, but I got to his marriage to Sarah, and as Steve Tilley has also recalled, he memorably cut the cake with shaking hand he said "there may be casualties" - typical humour. I kept sending him a card and news at Christmas. He didn't always manage one back, but I know all of us who had grown up with his ministry were in his thoughts and prayers.
Would I be a Christian without Don's ministry? Probably - I already was when I met him, but his encouragement was key to me seeing faith as more than attending or 'consuming' what other people produced, and seeing it as something to inform, challenge and tranform you life. Would I have had confidence to take responsibility, do things up front and eventually move into ministry? Probably not. Don inspired, challenged, critiqued and supported many of us on that journey. For some it was to ordained ministry, but to others it was to being missionaries, youth workers, and perhaps most importantly to being Christians getting stuck in at their churches and in their communities.
Don's illness meant that he didn't have the career he might have expected, but his influence on the church may well be greater than some who achieved higher office. Those of us who knew and loved him will always have a deep sense of gratitude to all he gave us.
10 comments:
A perceptive and fair-minded account. I will never forget the temporary dread of Don's 'Spock-like' hand on the shoulder. I think that his influence on the Church of England was great though very difficult to quantify because it has spread fractal-like, as you say,through the ministries of all those he influenced, including myself (such as it is!)
I like your comment about contradiction especially Mike. It seems right on the mark.
Thank you, Mike. Really well put. And so say all of us.
Spot on about the apparent contradictions, Mike. Well put.
Thank you for this. I had the great honour of knowing Don in the latter years and he remained a prayerful and powerful presence within the church community. He and Saraf brought life and encouragement when I became Vicar of the Church. He was something of a hero to me. The dignity with which he faced his illness was extraordinary and the youthful joy he still expressed even in the latter stages of his illness was extraordinary (I am thinking particularly of a late night chocolate party we enjoyed at his care home - much to the amusement of the staff).
Hi Backy. Thank you for that. It's good to hear he continued to make his characteristic lasting impression, even when his health was failing. Late night chocolate sounds all too true of him.
Thanks
Bob
May I share a story? Like many others I go back to Don's earliest days when he was a curate at Selly Hill. I had just become a Christian and he got me involved in the youth group (Cross Section) and the houseparties at Abingdon and Clevedon. Like others that's where I learnt the fundamentals of ministry and service - giving a talk, leading a Bible Study, one-to-one ministry and much more (including of course, stacking chairs!). But the story.... Don was not only a great leader who inspired others but he had a generous, pastoral heart. He got to know my non-churched family including my step-father who in 1973 became seriously ill with an inoperable brain tumour, at the relatively young age of 52. We were nursing him at home and when it was clear that the end was nigh, Don came over that evening and stayed with us all night. He talked with us, prayed with us, drank tea with us and for long periods just sat with us. My step-father died about 4am, Don didn't leave until later that morning. That was the measure of the man. Thanks Becky (and others) for a lovely funeral service - it was so uplifting, looking back with thanksgiving and looking forward with renewed faith and commitment.
Thank you for this story Steve.I only just read it
Post a Comment